The 'V' Word

Virgin.

Did you silently gasp? Are you going to close the browser window? This word  seems to make people so uncomfortable. You’re not supposed to talk openly about being a virgin; it’s just not something that people discuss. Yet popularizing and celebrating a person’s daily sexual exploits is perfectly accepted and even encouraged. In fact, the more sexual partners one has, the more respected they seem to be!

Today’s society mocks the very idea of sexual purity. Popular movies like “The 40 Year Old Virgin” send a clear message: Virgin = Loser. If you’ve never had sex, there is something very wrong with you. As such, a huge amount of shame and inadequacy accompanies the title.

But how did this happen? Since when did a lack of sexual experience equate a lack of character? Why does the decision to abstain from having sex warrant less respect than the decision to be promiscuous?

Call me crazy but I happen to think that society has it backwards. I decided at a young age to refrain from having sex until I was married and I can honestly say that I am proud to be a virgin. In fact, I actually think it’s pretty darn cool! This post is dedicated to everybody that has made the choice to go against the grain of society and who isn’t ashamed of being part of the Big V Club.

That being said, I am in NO way condemning anybody that isn’t a virgin; I simply want to shed a little bit of light on a less popular perspective. So, here it is:

Top 10 Reasons why it’s COOL to be a virgin until marriage:

1. Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to the Saviour of the world… pretty epic.

2. You’ll never have to relate to the horrible feeling of giving your heart, mind, body and soul to somebody only to be dumped for the next best thing.

3. STD’s… need I say more?

4. Girls – you don’t have an anxiety attack if your period is 3 days late.

5. The Jonas Brothers wear purity rings to represent their commitment to remain virgins until marriage, and they’re SUPER cool… right?

6. The word ‘virgin’ is derived from the Latin word ‘vireo’ meaning ‘flourishing’. To flourish means ‘to thrive, to prosper, to be in one’s prime.” Don’t mind if I do.

7. You can take pride in knowing you didn’t succumb to the pressures of society and you maintained your own set of values.

8. You will have a VERY special, unparalleled gift to give your future spouse.

9. You’ll never run the risk of attaching your self-esteem, value or worth to the number of sexual conquests you’ve had.

10. God demands a perfect sacrifice from us and instructs that we reserve sex for the Holy union of marriage. Being a virgin until that day means living a life that is pleasing to God. Seems like a pretty worthwhile goal to me.

So there you have it; my thoughts on the advantages of being a virgin until marriage. I would LOVE to hear what you have to say. Do you think that it’s a waste of time to maintain sexually purity until you’re married? Or is it cool to be a virgin?

Going against the grain,
Tasha xo

53 thoughts on “The 'V' Word

  1. To start I want to say that I think all sexual choices that are made by consenting individuals are valuable and wonderful. Whether that choice is to engage or not to engage in sex or what kind of sex one is or isn’t engaging in.

    But I disagree with you on one pretty big point (or maybe a couple depending on how you feel about my first statement). It’s not cool to be promiscious if you are a woman, but it’s also not cool to be a virgin.

    If you are a woman you are trapped in a sexual dichotomy that labels you either virgin or whore. Don’t sleep with anyone? You’re frigid, stuck-up, ugly, flawed or victimized. You made the choice to have sex? You’re giving it away, you’re a slut, you’ll do it with anyone.

    For men this is a little different. You are a stud or a loser.

    The problem here is that one’s sexuality is being used to define the essence of who they are. It shouldn’t matter what one has or hasn’t done. I think you’re awesome because you are eloquant and strong in your beliefs. I think it would be a more awesome world if it was our accomplishments, goals, dreams and abilities rather than sexual status that defines us.

    • Hey Colleen!

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog and respond in such an honest, real way. I definitely appreciate you sharing your perspective. And thank you for the kind words.

      I understand what you mean about the sexual dichotomy in which women are trapped and agree that one’s sexuality shouldn’t define who they are. I purposely used two extremes to illustrate that society tends to reward those who engage in sexual practices much more than those who refrain from them.

      I agree that all too often, girls who abstain from having sex are labeled as being prudish or frigid and that is precisely why I decided to write this post. My goal is to encourage and inspire people who may have faced similar challenges to my own. And, of course, to engage in a little meaningful conversation along the way. It seems that I’ve accomplished at least one of my goals! 🙂

      God bless!

    • Good post Tasha! Theres no shame in being a virgin till marriage. I think its great!!! Im sure most people wanted to do that I did growing up but thats not how it went for me. Growing up I thought pretty much everyone was doing it…and really everyone was unless they were very sheltered and their poppa had a big stick waiting at the front door!!! There wasnt a lot of fathers around and that played a huge factor in the self esteem in the young men and women I grew up with. Lack of guidance(not from my mother shes awesome!) is another reason why children grow up way too early. My dad wasnt around my mom worked so hard and went to school and that left me alone in my books and time on my hands to get into trouble. I wasnt a bad kid at all but I was lonely. My weight issues left me with very low self esteem, no one paid me any mind in school….so when I finally got attention, I ran with it!!!
      I was very young but having sex had nothing to do with going with the in crowd. I wasnt popular I was nerdy, quiet did great in school, had no boyfriends not even a kiss from a guy. Losing my virginity was a very private and personal experience and it was something I wanted to do at the time. Should I have waited, YES but no regets of course now I have my 4 lovely children who have enriched my life! best of all God loves me for who I am and my future husband(if I marry) will love me for me as well.

      Waiting could save someone years of heartache stress and drama and thats why God said it is best for us to wait for that someone special your husband or wife. Tash I am so proud that you choose to share this with everyone and I hope a young woman or man will think twice and wait till they are mature enough to make adult decisions.
      love ya!
      Gail

      • Gail, thank you so much for opening up and being so transparent about your feelings and past experiences. Your honesty really touched my heart. You’re absolutely right… the Lord uses ALL things (even if they seem hopeless in the moment) for His Glory! Praise God; He is our Redeemer! 🙂

        Now, you can use your story to inspire and encourage the youth of our generation! Love you lots, sis.

  2. Very revealing I must say Tasha! I’m very proud of your commitment to yourself and God. Pretty bold of you I would say. It’s one of the reasons I love you… xo P.S. You’re so cool! 🙂

  3. Awwwww, thanks Andy. Your encouraging, uplifting words are very much appreciated and greatly treasured. I love you more! xoxo ❤

  4. What a refreshing topic. I was a proud member of the V Club until marriage and wasn’t ashamed to tell people. It’s an accomplishment nowadays I think! Thanks for this Tasha. I hope and pray that you, myself and many other men and women of our generation will relay this message to our children. Purity = Cool

    • Thanks for the encouragement, Holly!!! Your dedication to following God’s Will in your relationship with Devin was definitely an inspiration to me! Love you! xo

  5. beautiful work my love. your 10 reasons really strike me, and truly are words of wisdom – looking foward to reading more of you work.

    xoxox

    M

  6. Hey hun! I miss you too. Great blog! Very good work girl. I’m proud of you, especially for this post. I agree with you on all points, EXCEPT #5 (…lol!). Love you Nat!

  7. Hey tash! good bold entry! There is nothing wrong with being a virgin! The 40 year old virgin movie was making fun of males being virgins. I think it shouldn’t be a double standard anyway. Whether you’re female or male, it shouldn’t matter.

  8. Sorry I haven’t posted until now.

    I have the feeling from some of the comments that a few people don’t think their sexual experiences are anyone else’s business, and although I agree that we should not judge people on their sexual behaviour ect. I think that the choices we make very much are God’s business. Having said that I do wish that I had made better choices, I am blessed that our God is a gracious and merciful God who is faithful and just to forgive me my sins since I have confessed them to him and repented of them. But we need more role models (like you Tasha) that point to purity (not to put others down but to teach them why God intended it a certain way, You touched on some of them in your 10 reasons) I feel that when God tells us not to do something it is for our own good and well being not because he doesn’t want us to have any fun! I am proud of you for your choice and I deeply respect it and truly hope others who are contemplating a sexual relationship before marriage be encouraged to wait because of this post!

    Great Job Tasha God really wants to use you I can tell!

  9. Thank you so much for your honest and sincere words, Stacey. I really appreciate your comments and feel truly honoured that God would use me to reach His people in any way that I am able.

    I’m definitely a far cry from perfect and I’ve made my share of mistakes but I completely agree that we serve an incredible God who never witholds His Forgiveness, Mercy and Grace when we repent of our sins. And what’s amazing is that He will use even our mistakes for His Glory if we allow Him to!

    Love you sis!

  10. I believe there is no shame in being a virgin till marriage.
    I also believe in a powerful, mighty, merciful, loving God who Loves the sinner but doesn’t love the sin.
    Everyone falls to sin in some area or another so we can’t be judging others.

    Thanks Natasha for posting this!

    1 Corinthians 10:13 –
    “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it

    Psalm 119:9-16
    9 How shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed and keeping watch [on himself] according to Your word [conforming his life to it].

    10With my whole heart have I sought You, inquiring for and of You and yearning for You; Oh, let me not wander or step aside [either in ignorance or willfully] from Your commandments.(A)

    11Your word have I laid up in my heart, that I might not sin against You.

    12Blessed are You, O Lord; teach me Your statutes.

    13With my lips have I declared and recounted all the ordinances of Your mouth.

    14I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies as much as in all riches.

    15I will meditate on Your precepts and have respect to Your ways [the paths of life marked out by Your law].(B)

    16I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word

    • Thanks Patty! I completely agree with you! And thanks for posting such encouraging Bible verses! God is Good! All the time! ❤

  11. Nice color choice on the blog. It is really easy on my eyes and I have bad eyes too so that’s a really big compliment lol

  12. I love the way you write and also the theme on your blog. Did you code this yourself or was it done by a professional? I’m very very impressed.

  13. Hello, I know this is not exactly your topic “The ‘V’ Word, but I have a blog using the wordpress platform as well and I’m having issues with my comments displaying. Is there a setting I am forgetting? Maybe you could help me out? Thank you.

    • Hi Lariccia! I wish I could help you but I’m definitely a beginner when it comes to this stuff too! Hopefully you can contact wordpress to find an answer to your question! Take care!

  14. I have been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  15. This is my first time i visit here! I found so many useful stuff in your website especially its discussion! From the a lot of comments on your articles! I guess Im not the only one receiving the many satisfaction right here! keep up a good job.

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