Pain and Perspective

I’ve been in a lot of pain for the past seven days and it has really got me thinking about perspective.

This morning, I began to sink into a pool of self-pity. Tears streaming down my face I asked myself in desperation, ‘Why is this happening again?’, ‘Why can’t I find relief from this pain?’, ‘Will this ever go away?’, ‘Will I be plagued with this forever?’.

Largely due, I believe, to nearly four years of professional counselling, I was able to fairly quickly pull myself out of this downward mental spiral. I could recognize the various cognitive distortions that were rearing their ugly heads, something I was rarely able to do four years ago.

I remembered that I had the choice to control the narrative of what I was experiencing.

I forced myself to stop treading the waters of self-pity and garner a more balanced perspective: I’m so grateful to have a home that is safe and comfortable. I’m so blessed to have access to medical care, sick days and treatment options. I’m so thankful to have friends and family that genuinely care about my holistic health and well-being. And the list goes on.

This is in no way meant to promote toxic positivity, which dictates that even in the midst of suffering we put on the damaging façade of, “It’s okay. I’m okay. Everything is okay.” I believe that this is often a shame response.

On the contrary, this perspective involves allowing myself to experience my mental, emotional and physical pain and suffering, while simultaneously acknowledging the many blessings I have in my life. It’s encouraging my mind to look at the broader picture and not allowing it to obsessively focus solely on the negative fragment in front of me. This is move away from shame and towards empowerment.

It’s not always an easy practice, but I believe it’s a necessary one, especially if the goal is mental, emotional and psychological wellness. It’s healthy to admit when we are struggling and need help. It’s okay to feel lost and have periods of self-doubt and sadness. But, we must remember that, just like the good times, the bad times are temporary, also. Amidst all the things going wrong, we must not lose sight of all the things going right.

We have the power to alter our narrative. Changing how we think, affects how we feel, which in turn, affects how we behave and the choices we make. Change your perspective, change your reality.

Brothers and Sisters

For as long as I can remember, I have been taught that my fellow Christians are my brothers and sisters in Christ, but I haven’t always understood the significance of this truth. For many people, family represents a strong bond involving support, respect and love. When Jesus proclaimed in Mark 3:35 that everyone who does the will of God is his brother and sister and mother, I think he was relaying a very important message, we are to show our fellow Christians the same support, respect and love that we would show our own family. 

It wasn’t until I became involved in the small group ministry at my church in Seoul, south Korea, that I really began to understand what it meant to be brothers and sisters in Christ. First Corinthians 12:26 reminds us of the importance of this bond, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” Being committed to loving each other as family wasn’t always an easy task, it involved patience, vulnerability and sacrifice. But oh, was it worth it. 

Being brothers and sisters in Christ means to share in each other’s sorrow as well as in each other’s joy. It means serving one another as well as enjoying each other’s company. It means holding each other accountable as well as encouraging and edifying one another. It’s laughing together and crying together and not giving up on each other when times get tough. This is the beauty of community. This is the sacredness of family.

Bearing Fruit

Of the four types of soil that Jesus teaches about in Mark 4:1-20, more often than I would like to admit, I have resembled the third kind. I have heard the Word of God and despite my best intentions, I’ve ended up entangled in the thorns of the world and its deceptive allure. Whether it was constant comparison, an obsession with success, or looking in all the wrong places to find validation, my desire for the things of the world ended up trumping my yearning to fully submit to the Lord. 

I think that at the root of this struggle was the fact that I didn’t completely trust God. Somehow, I had believed in God for my eternal salvation, but I couldn’t bring myself to trust him with my finances, my friendships or my future spouse. I realize now that the reason I didn’t fully trust God was that I didn’t truly know him; I rarely made time for God when I wasn’t at church. In order for us to resemble the fourth type of soil, we need to spend time in God’s presence. 

The more time we commit to the Lord through prayer, meditation, and reading his word, the more completely he is able to reveal himself to us, and the clearer we are able to understand his character, faithfulness and love. The fruit that this deep relationship with God develops will naturally overflow from our hearts into our words and actions, blessing those around us and serving as a beacon of light pointing them to the Lord.

Faithfulness to God

Though many of us might not be able to relate to the specific sin of adultery, if we are honest with ourselves, we have all been unfaithful at some point in our lives. Lying, cheating, stealing, coveting, the list goes on, when we dishonour God, ourselves and others, we are acting in selfishness, disobeying God’s commandments and choosing sin instead of faithfulness. 

One of the main ways that I have seen the often insidious sin of unfaithfulness to God creep up in my own life is in the form of idolatry. Whenever we put anything but God on the throne of our lives, we are choosing to disobey God’s first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me,” Exodus 20:3.

Throughout my life, I have found myself reaching for many things apart from God in a frivolous quest for happiness, comfort, affirmation and love. Whether it was people, popularity, prestige or power, the things I chased for validation only ended up failing me miserably and leaving me broken-hearted and defeated. 

We were never meant to search for identity and purpose outside of God; He created us and he is the only one who is able to satisfy our deepest longings and give us the desires of our hearts. Being faithful to God and obeying his commandments is for our good and his glory. When we honour God in this way, not only do we demonstrate that we love him, but our lives become a living testimony that points others to his goodness, provision and faithfulness in our lives.

Walking in God’s Light

Have you ever experienced a power outage and been plunged into complete darkness? Though potentially alarming at first, it is often more of an inconvenience than anything else. With many alternatives to electricity today, losing a light source is not usually an emergency situation.

In some cases, however, not having access to essential lights can have disastrous consequences. Lighthouses are meant to warn ships at sea of dangerous areas and direct them in the darkness, illuminating a clear path to safety. Without the lighthouse’s guidance, ships could meet a tragic fate, as the shoreline may be replete with jagged rocks and other dangers. 

Much like a lighthouse directs ships to safety, God’s word directs us along the sure path of his righteousness. Proverbs 6:20 says that God’s commandment is a lamp and his teaching, a light. Similarly, Psalm 119:105 teaches that God’s word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. His teachings guide us, instruct us, and direct us, illuminating the correct path for us to follow, free from danger and peril.

Adultery, like all sin, occurs when we take our eyes off of the light of his living word, and instead focus on our own selfish desires. When we choose to ignore God’s teachings and disobey his commandments, we run the risk of wandering into very dangerous territory. On the contrary, when we read his word, keep his commandments and follow his teachings, he promises to direct our path, enabling us to live in his favour and walk in his light. 

Build a Longer Table

My old pastor used to say, “God does not bless us financially to increase our standard of living, but to increase our standard of giving.” This quote has stuck with me throughout the years. What does it mean to increase our standard of giving? What does sharing our bread with the poor look like today? I think one of the ways we can do this is by giving of our time, money and resources to help those who are in need.

There are many practical ways we can obey God’s command to love our neighbor. Some examples are volunteering at a soup kitchen, signing up to be a Big Brother/Sister, helping teach Sunday School or donating to a local charity.

Jesus spoke powerful words in the Bible about this very topic, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40. There is no doubt that the vulnerable among us are very valuable to the Lord. 

When we serve those less fortunate, we are not merely doing something nice or ticking a box off of our charity checklist. We are showing our love to Jesus through loving those in need. Serving others in Jesus’ name is how we can practically be the hands and feet of Christ on this earth.

I’ve heard it said, “When you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence.” May we all work on building longer tables today, to the glory of God.

The Power of Life and Death

Have you ever said something and then immediately regretted it? I have. I’ve spoken before thinking, spoken out of anger or spoken with bad intent and my words have left a path of destruction in their wake. It takes a few seconds to share our thoughts, but the effects of those words can sometimes last a lifetime. 

The Bible warns us that the power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). This verse leaves us with little room for misunderstanding, what we say matters, and it matters a lot. Our words can be used to uplift, inspire, encourage, edify and exhort. Or, on the contrary, they can be used to tear down, destroy, hurt, harass and harm. 

The choice is ours. Are we going to use our words to honour God and love others? Or will we use them to disobey God’s command and cause pain and calamity? How can we ensure that we are using our words to bring life and not death? The Bible tells us that what is in our heart, comes out of our mouth (Matthew 15:18). When we spend time in God’s Word, we better understand his character and we learn to live in accordance with his will for our lives. 

So, the next time you are tempted to lash out in anger, tell a joke at the expense of somebody else or share hurtful gossip, stop and think about what you are doing. The power of life and death may be at the tip of your tongue. 

34 Life Lessons in 34 Years

In no particular order, here are 34 lessons I’ve learned over the past 34 years:

  1. Make time for the people and the things that matter.
  2. Live with integrity and compassion.
  3. You can’t make everybody happy.
  4. Never lose your sense of wonder.
  5. It’s okay to say no.
  6. Don’t make decisions based on fear.
  7. Speak kindly to yourself.
  8. Healing takes time.
  9. Keep your word.
  10. Be the kind of friend you’d want in your life.
  11. Don’t compromise your values.
  12. Invest in something greater than yourself.
  13. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
  14. Your relationship with God is the most important relationship you’ll have.
  15. Gossip is destructive.
  16. Don’t focus on what others think of you.
  17. Know your boundaries and stick to them.
  18. Vulnerability is not weakness, it’s strength.
  19. How people treat you is more a reflection of them, than of you.
  20. Choose your friends wisely.
  21. Failure is part of the process.
  22. Comparison will steal your joy.
  23. No act of kindness is insignificant.
  24. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.
  25. Don’t be afraid to feel your emotions.
  26. Encouragement is a powerful tool.
  27. Give generously without expecting anything in return.
  28. Remain teachable and curious.
  29. Never give up on yourself.
  30. A simple smile goes a long way.
  31. The world craves authenticity.
  32. Don’t allow bitterness and resentment to fester.
  33. Slow progress is better than no progress.
  34. Gratitude changes how we see the world.

xo Tasha

The Past Seven Months

Hi friends! Happy New Year 🙂

The last time I posted on my blog was seven months ago. A lot has happened since then. Here’s a quick recap:

  1. Summer Break – Spent my six weeks of summer at home in Toronto. I completed an online course in Guidance and Career Education, hung out with family and friends and enjoyed the break from teaching.
  2. Back to the North – In the first week of August, I came back up north to begin my second year of teaching grade six in Mistissini.
  3. Moving  – Thankfully, I was able to move into a new, much bigger apartment that is only a 3 minute walk from the school. This makes it super convenient to come home at lunch time and I’m really enjoying all of my newfound space.
  4. New Class – My new class is really great, much fewer serious behavioural issues than my class lat year, which makes for a much easier and more pleasant time teaching. I have 16 students in total, only four of whom are girls! That means I deal with lots of rowdy, 12 year old boy stuff on a daily basis, lol.
  5. First Half of the Year – The first four months of my second year of teaching and living here went very well overall. I bonded with my class and continued to build on the friendships that I had made last year, along with a few new ones!
  6. Christmas Break – Then came a much anticipated Christmas Break. I enjoyed a lovely two weeks at home in Toronto. I came back to Mistissini at the beginning of January feeling rested and refreshed.
  7. January – There’s a saying that goes, “Thirty days has September, April, June and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except for January which has 947.” That has seemed quite true this month! It has been the coldest I’ve experienced in Mistissini with temperatures dropping below -53 degrees Celsius! Because of this, I haven’t been spending too much time outside thoughI do try to get to the gym for Zumba and Insanity classes, which I’m really enjoying.
  8. Upcoming Events – This year, all of the grade six students (three English classes and two French classes: a total of 75 students) along with five teachers and 13 chaperones will be going to Quebec City for a Graduation Trip in late June. We have been planning and organizing many fundraisers to help cover the cost of the trip. This has been a huge undertaking, on top what is an already busy schedule. The students are very excited for this trip and so I am! 

Prayer requests for the last five months of the school year:

  1. Please pray for motivation and stamina. I won’t have another break until the first two weeks of May, when our school is closed for Goose Break. I know from last year that this will be a long and draining stretch of teaching. Please pray that I would be able to keep my head and heart in the game, and not burn out.
  2. Please pray for the Girls Mentorship Club. The Daughter Project Canada has a weekly club for students in grades 4-6 that I will be implementing at my school starting this week. The curriculum is amazing and teaches on important topics such as bullying, self-esteem, building character, and overcoming obstacles. Please pray that my team and I will be able to guide and mentor these young girls well.
  3. Please pray for Christian community. Having Christian friends with whom I can pray and grow is so important to me. Please pray that I would be able to connect with other believers who I can share life with with throughout the next five months of this school year.

Thank you so much for your prayers, friends. I wish you all an abundant 2019!

Tasha ❤

 

Year One Complete

I made it! 😀

Tomorrow is the last teaching day of the school year and I head home on Thursday the 28th for (a very well deserved) six weeks of summer holidays! Our class graduated yesterday and it was a beautiful evening of celebration. As challenging as this year has been, I am SO proud of my students and I love each of them dearly.

We’ve come a long way together and as crazy as they drove me, I really will miss them. They taught me so much about patience, servanthood, sacrifice and forgiveness; they will forever hold a special place in my heart. It has been confirmed that I will be teaching grade six again in the fall, along with two other amazing teachers. I think we will make a great sixth grade team and I am already believing for incredible things next year!

I want to say a HUGE thank you from the bottom of my heart for every single one of your prayers. These past few months would have been so much more difficult without your support and encouragement. Praise God for a fruitful eight months in Mistissini. I’m very excited for what He will continue to do here in the coming months!

Much love,
Tasha ❤

heart.jpg